Beth Am Welcomes Interfaith Households
Beth Am has a distinguished history as an egalitarian and inclusive Synagogue. At
Beth Am, we respect and support the right of every person to make autonomous
religious decisions. If you are the non-Jewish spouse or partner in a Beth
Am household, we encourage you to be an engaged part of the Beth Am family.
Here are some of the opportunities we offer:
- Adult learning classes to help you gain a comfortable understanding of
our services and Jewish traditions.
- Full involvement in the volunteer projects, educational activities, and
all non-ritual committees.
- Full access to and assistance of our clergy. Rabbi Konheim will also place
his interfaith connections at your service if you wish to speak with clergy
of your own faith and are not sure whom to contact.
- Participation in the religious school activities and life-cycle events
of your family members.
Our staff and officers will be happy to discuss with you the many opportunities
available that will help you to become a vital participant
in our Synagogue's community.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How does a household determine which Dues Category to choose?
Beth Am has established a dues structure that emphasizes our desire to welcome
non-Jewish spouses and partners into Synagogue life to the fullest extent
permissible under Jewish law (halakhah). Our new dues categories take
effect January 1, 2008. If you are a non-Jewish spouse or partner who desires
to be an active participant in Synagogue life and would like to attend High
Holydays services, the "Household of 2 Adults" dues category might
be the best choice for you. Beth Am also offers the "Household of 1 Adult" dues
category, which may be preferable for interfaith households with children
where the non-Jewish spouse or partner prefers a lower level of participation.
To best determine which dues category is appropriate for your household, please
contact our Executive Director, Henry Feller, for a confidential discussion.
2. Under the Dues Category of "Household of 1 Adult," how
many High Holydays tickets may my household reserve?
For a nominal fee of $36 per seat, a Household of 1 Adult may reserve High
Holyday tickets for 1 adult and each child in their household over the age
of six. An additional High Holyday ticket may be reserved for $336 for a spouse
or partner.
3. Can a non-Jewish spouse or partner have a membership at Beth Am?
Beth Am offers many opportunities for non-Jewish spouses and partners to be
active in Synagogue life to the extent permissible under Jewish law. For halakhic reasons
membership is available only to individuals of the Jewish faith.
4. Why are there constraints for a non-Jewish spouse
to be a Synagogue member?
Beth Am, like most covenant-based religious institutions, wants to be welcoming
to all who come. At the same time, Judaism, like other faiths, has certain
privileges and responsibilities that are available to those who are born into,
or convert into our faith. It is for this reason that only Jews are allowed
to perform certain rituals and blessings, much like only Catholics can accept
communion. In order to be a member of a Conservative synagogue and partake
of certain rites and rituals, one must be born a Jew or convert into Judaism.
For more details on these halakhic reasons, please read on.
5. What are the halakhic limitations that apply to a non-Jewish
spouse or partner?
When it comes to the participation of non-Jewish spouses or partners in Synagogue
life there are three areas of limitations.
- Committee involvement.
We are happy to have non-Jewish spouses or partners actively participate in
all Beth Am committees except those with ritual responsibility. Presently,
this includes the Board of Trustees and the Religious Services Committee.
- Participation in services.
There are many opportunities for non-Jewish spouses or partners to participate
in important family milestones such as a bris, b'nai mitzvah or wedding, and
they can have a reading role during Shabbat services. At the same time, there
are also some halakhic constraints. In accordance with the rules of
the Conservative Jewish Movement, with which Beth Am is affiliated, a non-Jewish
spouse or partner may not have Torah-related honors, nor recite blessings.
- Voting.
On occasion, congregants may vote on major Synagogue issues. This opportunity
to vote on such issues is only available to the Jewish spouse or partner.
6. In what ways can a non-Jewish spouse or partner participate in the life-cycle
events of my family?
Honors are often awarded to people celebrating a life-cycle event. These events
involve a core family as well as the community at large. We wish to have every
member of the core family share in the joy. In these situations, such as a
birth or a b'nai mitzvah, the non-Jewish family member often accompanies the
Jewish family member to the Torah, as someone who enables this moment of joy
to take place. While the Jewish family member recites the covenantal blessings,
the non-Jewish family member is very much part of the occasion.
Beth Am also creates opportunities in the service that are not strictly Jewish
ritual. These may include readings, the presentation of a tallit to
a child, or saying some words to the child that do not have covenantal
significance.
Resources for Interfaith Households
1. If I would like to discuss what activities I can participate in at Beth
Am, as a non-Jewish partner or spouse, whom should I contact?
Rabbi Konheim is pleased to discuss any questions that you have.
2. Can you recommend any books or websites, or local or national organizations
that can provide helpful information to interfaith households?
Rabbi Konheim is pleased to direct you to additional resources related to
your specific interests. The following is an initial list of resources which
provides a good starting point.
As you will understand, although we identify these organizations as a resource
for learning, information and opinions found on external web sites may
not represent the views of Beth Am Synagogue or its members.
3. If I decide to marry a non-Jew, or if one of my children decides to
marry a non-Jew, how will Beth Am work with me and my family in a manner that
respects both Halakhah and my personal decision?
There are many ways that the Rabbi and the Synagogue provide acceptance and
support, even though the Rabbi can not marry an interfaith couple. The Rabbi
provides counseling support for the couple as well the extended families.
He helps them work through religious and spiritual issues. He also provides
source material for couples to work out their own wedding ceremonies that
will represent the aspirations of both parties.
There are two reasons why the Rabbi can not conduct the wedding ceremony of
an interfaith couple. The first is that the Jewish wedding creates a contractual
relationship through the ketubah (contract) under Jewish law, and
Jewish law can have no authority over non-Jews. The second is that while
Beth Am is supportive of the people in an interfaith marriage, it is not
appropriate to give religious sanction. As expressed above, however, withholding
religious sanction does not mean withholding acceptance and support.
Our Synagogue is also working on a resource guide for interfaith couples to
help them find local officiants. This will be available through the office.
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Candle lighting is at 7:24 pm on Friday, August 29.